Matt Jones

A Sales Pitch

  • Posted by Matt (Permalink)
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We would like to welcome you to historic Sealand. Set in a tranquil location off the coast of England, we're sure that your time here will be relaxing and fulfilling. Our accommodation can offer guaranteed sea views as well as the unique benefit of satellite internet access, courtesy of HavenCo. Why not take a dive in our large saltwater pool, or while away a lazy afternoon catching your supper [we are told that we have the best fishing for miles around]. If you are too lazy to cater for yourself, why not stroll along to our restaurant where you'll find the best in nouvelle seafood cuisine; our Haddock et Pom Frites is the best you'll ever taste! There's plenty to do for the kids as well; our playground sports a giant metal and concrete climbing frame which we're sure you'll have difficulty getting the little blighters away from. So, come to Sealand - it's like Waterworld, only better.