I’ve been looking for a house to buy, just outside of the city. One I looked at was in a place called Stargate; a strange name for a place I thought, especially when it’s somewhere as undramatic as the outskirts of Gateshead. Apart from a non-descript clump of houses, a few roundabouts, a strange circular portal into infinity and a few cows, there wasn’t really much there.

Coincidentally, the film was on Channel 4 later that evening.