‘Wassuuup’ is perhaps the most annoying meme of the 21st Century so far. Now, I bring you the all new ‘eeeeehhhhuuuup’ meme. Got this via email attachment so I don’t know where it comes from or who did it. If anyone knows anything about it, let me know.
Fun with Amazon wishlists: George W. Bush’s most wanted items and this is what happens when your password gets into the wrong hands [thanks James].
Don’t you just love receiving hilarious jokes via email? Yes… don’t we all, but do you know the history of it? If not, read: Before There Was Email: Forwarding Jokes Through History.
The coverage of the Embassy World Darts Championship on BBC television is really something to admire. Never have you seen so many lager swillin’ Darts fans under one roof; that Lakeside venue seeming to stretch into smoke-hazed infinity. But it’s the camera work and direction that I respect most about it; the way in which the screen is split down the middle, the board on the left, the thrower on the right, eyes fixed like those of a hawk on that treble 20 bay whilst beer gut hangs poised over low trouser line. Then there’s the mental strain of mathematical calculation as the decreasing tally approaches zero, a double to win. These guys have spent years sweating in front of the dart board, the physical strain offset by the glory of attaining “One Hundred and Eiiighty” infront of a frenzied audience. Watch as the camera expectantly zooms in when 2 darts have landed in the treble-20 bay – after that it’s death or glory, although 140 is a respectable 3 dart score. Then there’s the work of the Director, trying his or her best to convey the excitement of The Lakeside to the viewers at home. Between darts, the camera cuts to friends and family in the audience, revealing the tension and excitement on their faces. Often, someone will be wearing an ingenious silly hat in the hope of drawing the camera’s attention and getting on the TV, or they’ll be displaying banners in support of their man. Back in the studio, the sovereign ring laden cockney arrow master Bobby George gives his insightful opinion on the current match as relegated BBC sports presenter Dougie Donnelly pretends to be interested. Of course the BBC darts coverage was never quite the same when Sid Waddell left to commentate on that other ‘mickey mouse’ darts championship on BSkyB. That was a big loss, Sid was the ‘voice of darts’.
I recommend that next time you see the Embassy Darts coverage on TV, don’t change channels, watch and look out for all the things I’ve mentioned. You won’t regret it.
Jeffrey Zeldman wins the award for ‘how much hair you can stuff under a small blue hat’.
Buy a limited edition ‘Obey Jakob’ t-shirt from mememachine. You never know, it might be worth a fortune in 50 years time… then again it might not.
More raw material for Nielsen parody purposes. Lookin’ good Jakob.
About a year ago, me a few colleagues came up with the idea of starting a new chain of pasty shops called ‘OI! Pasty’ (I suppose a bit like the famous sushi restaurant chain ‘Yo! Sushi’ grin). Anyway, we wanted it to be a kind of high-tech pasty shop including an assortment of pasty varieties (including corned beef, ham and cheese and the classic ‘Cornish’) which would travel on a complex arrangement of conveyor belts around the restaurant. The customer would then make their pasty selection, sit and and eat it on big comfy couches and then pay on the way out. I would like to add that our idea pre-dated the modernisation of Greggs Bakeries across the country (their staff now use radio headsets), and I believe that someone in the higher echelons of Greggs was actually tipped off about our plans for global domination in pasty retail. Anyway, its all ‘water under the bridge’ now as we see the emergence of ‘Oi! Bagel’. If only we acted sooner.
Why does a lion have a fur coat?
Because it would look ridiculous in a duffel coat.